a visit to MANAOAG

its been a long time since i visited manaoag...for those of you who havent been here, here are some pics i took...

ten years ago i was seating right here at this very same spot...i said goodbye  to my mother for the very last time as i leave the house without her knowing that her son is never coming back...i arrived at the church very early in the morning before heading to bolinao...i did it on purpose so that people wont see me there...ive been planning on something big, something really really big and im going to pursue my plan that day...my mom is a breast cancer survivor...im an only child and i never knew my father...we were poor and people always try to bring us down...i hated my life so much...a month before that, i started making a plan...a plan to end all of the pain, sadness and sufferings...i love the sun and the sea, its the place id rather be...im a swimmer, i love to swim, i like being in the water...my plan is to go to bolinao where they have beautiful white sandy beaches...once im there, i will swim as far as i could and then drown myself to death...i also prayed that the sharks will come and eat me as if i never existed...it was a beautiful plan...ok, back to the church...at that time, i already consider myself as full blooded atheist but i was born and raised catholic...i dont know why im here at this church...its been a long time since i last visited a church...i was just seating there for a couple of minutes doing nothing, i dont know how to pray anymore...it was very moving because as i was seating there, my life flashed before my eyes...and then finally i started to cry...the only words that came out of my mouth was "sorry"...i said im sorry...its funny because when i woke that morning, i dont feel anything...when you knew that you are going to die that day...you feel nothing, you dont feel like smiling, laughing, or crying...you are nothing...youre a dead man walking...after that, i headed to bolinao ...that was ten years ago...it happened at this very same month and im still here...miracle, faith? i dont know how you call it...all i can say is that i dont easily give up without a fight...this is my story...now im sharing it to the world...